Please help us avoid another Katrina catastrophe, won’t you? Turns out the next imminent disaster we have to fear is ourselves – or more specifically, our own U.S. Navy. If we don’t act fast, thousands of people on the tiny island of Guam stand to perish as their island capsizes into the sea. Don’t believe me? Listen to the ominous words of one informed federal government official.
Last week, Rep. Hank Johnson, D-GA. (right), was questioning Navy Admiral Robert Willard during a House Armed Services Committee meeting about the Navy’s plans to relocate 8,000 Navy personnel and their families to Guam. After noting at some length that the island is rather narrow, Rep. Johnson solemnly stated “My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated it will tip over and capsize.” (I can’t make this stuff up. And, no he was not being facetious.) Admiral Willard paused and replied, “We don’t anticipate that.” You can watch this riveting testimony here.
Last week, Apple began shipping the much hyped iPad, the sexy-looking, wafer-thin tabloid computer that Steve Jobs himself has called “the most important thing” he has ever done. While some detractors scoff that it’s nothing more than a larger version of the popular iPod Touch handheld device, the overwhelming sentiment of most people who have seen it is along the lines of “If I promise you my first born, will you let me leap to the front of the line?” Before the device was even on store shelves, Apple had already received a quarter million pre-orders. Some analysts forecast they could sell 5 million units in the first year, making it the most successful new product launch in history.
The evangelical fervor is bordering on hysteria. Some techno geeks who have never had a date in their lives are already calling it the greatest invention since Gutenberg printed the first Bible some 600 years ago. Others are simply calling it the Jesus Tablet, because of the almost mystic, spiritual aura surrounding this seeming “holy grail” of computer gadgetry. If that’s not enough of a Biblical connection, why is it that the Bible even has an entire book named after Apple’s founder, the Book ofJobs? At the risk of comparing apples to oracles, this leads me to ask the obvious theological-technological question: Which is better, Jesus or the new “Jesus Tablet”, the iPad?
This week’s blog post is a guest post by Steve Fisher, the funniest person I have ever known personally. Steve is based in Prague, Czech Republic, where he works in the field of Corporate Communications. On the side, Steve has had acting roles in several films and television shows.
It is my pleasure to turn this week’s post over to my life-long friend. In his commentary, Steve asks, Have you read the fine print on those online agreements lately? You might want to take a second look before clicking “I agree.” (Continued below…)
If you’re like most patriotic, big government-distrusting Americans, you are probably experiencing a range of emotions right now, from anger to rage to angerful rage. It’s a dark day in America thanks to the dreaded OBAMACARE Act of 2010 which was signed into law this past week. It’s just a matter of time before every last hard-fought freedom we’ve long cherished is pried out of our God-toting, gun-fearing hands – like mankind’s sacred right to be paid more than womankind. We are on the road to becoming United Socialist States of America. If you ask me, the health care plan I had was working just fine. Thanks a lot, Obamacare.
Here are just a few of the new law’s most pernicious features. It denies us…
Did you happen to catch the mean-spirited Super Bowl ad by those bastards at E*Trade making fun of poor Lindsay Lohan? You know the one. It features a toddler boy talking on the phone with his toddler girlfriend who gives him grief for not calling her the night before. The girlfriend, suspicious of his behavior, confronts him and asks “And that milkaholic Lindsay wasn’t over?” just as another baby girl appears onscreen saying, “Milk-a-whaaat?” Here is the ad.
Well, hello! Could it be any more obvious this was a direct, mean-spirited frontal assault on the reputation of the quiet, publicity-shy mega-star? Of course not. So the 23-year old celebrity actress did what any average private citizen who owns five houses, a lear jet and their own line of fashion footwear would do when an ad mentions someone who shares their first name – she sued ‘em. Yes, she filed a totally justified lawsuit against those insensitive jerks at E*Trade for their blatant efforts to defame her in this commercial. Can you blame her? It’s obviously a direct character assassination, poking cruel fun at all the past media hype about her personal struggles with addiction to alcohol and cocaine and pain killers and stimulants and cough syrup and nasal spray and cosmetic surgery and changing her hair color and going to night clubs without wearing any underwear and … (Editor’s note: the preceding passage has been abridged due to space limitations.)
help us avoid another Katrina catastrophe, won’t you? Turns out the next imminent disaster we have to fear is ourselves – or more specifically, our own U.S. Navy. If we don’t act fast, thousands of people on the tiny island of Guam stand to perish as their island capsizes into the sea. Don’t believe me? Listen to the ominous words of one informed federal government official.
Last week, Rep. Hank Johnson, D-GA. (right), was questioning Navy Admiral Robert Willard during a House Armed Services Committee meeting about the Navy’s plans to relocate 8,000 Navy personnel and their families to Guam. After noting at some length that the island is rather narrow, Rep. Johnson solemnly stated “My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated it will tip over and capsize.” (I can’t make this stuff up. And, no he was not being facetious.) Admiral Willard paused and replied, “We don’t anticipate that.” You can watch this riveting testimony here.
Last week, Apple began shipping the much hyped 
Did you happen to catch the mean-spirited Super Bowl ad by those bastards at E*Trade making fun of poor Lindsay Lohan? You know the one. It features a toddler boy talking on the phone with his toddler girlfriend who gives him grief for not calling her the night before. The girlfriend, suspicious of his behavior, confronts him and asks “And that milkaholic Lindsay wasn’t over?” just as another baby girl appears onscreen saying, “Milk-a-whaaat?” 
