VIEW from the BLEACHERS

My personal search for signs of intelligent life in the universe and in my neighborhood

A humor blog

by Tim Jones, BA, JD, MBA, ESQ, FAQ, INC, LOL, WTF, UBU, IDK, ETC

Trapped in the Land of Do-It-Yourselfers

Trapped in the Land of Do-It-Yourselfers

I have zero Do-It-Yourselfer skills. I blame it on my father, because, well, he passed away 43 years ago, so he’s not here to defend himself. I live in a community largely composed of retirees. They’re all very frugal, so they’ve learned to do their home repairs and renovations themselves. It’s so annoying – until I need them to help me fix my clogged sink.

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How to Vacation in the Amazon and Live to Tell About It

How to Vacation in the Amazon and Live to Tell About It

The OTHER Amazon (the one not currently owned by Jeff Bezos) is an incredible tropical paradise. I should know, because recently my wife and I took a vacation there. But there are a few things you need to be careful about, if you want to have a fun time – and have at least a 50% chance of making it out of there alive.

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My Family’s Christmas Miracle

My Family’s Christmas Miracle

Who says miracles don’t happen? One happened to me – on Christmas morning. This is the actual retelling of my own family’s Christmas miracle. Better have a Kleenex handy. This one’s a real tearjerker (if you cry for no reason at all, that is).

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I HATE SNAKES!

I HATE SNAKES!

Let me make this crystal clear. I HATE SNAKES. I cannot think of a single redeeming thing about them. Okay, well, maybe one thing. I learned that some snakes actually like to eat other snakes. Why do I hate them so much? Well, they just creep me out. They don’t have any fur, no legs, not even eyelids. What’s that all about? Read why snakes and I will never peacefully co-exist.

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YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR LIFE

You're Grounded For Life book

Read this hysterically funny book about Tim Jones’s many parenting failures — Sure to make you feel like Parent of the Year by comparison.

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