VIEW from the BLEACHERS
A humor blog
by Tim Jones, BA, JD, MBA, ESQ, FAQ, INC, LOL, WTF, UBU, IDK, ETC
Congratulations on Making it This Far
If you grew up during the fifties, sixties, seventies, or eighties, you were exposed to a remarkable number of things that today would cause an anxious parent to immediately call a lawyer, a pediatrician, or possibly the police. And yet, somehow, you survived. So, let’s take a nostalgic stroll through the decades and marvel at the fact that you somehow made it to adulthood. Truly incredible.
An Exclusive Interview with Alexa: The Truth Behind the Voice
I recently had the rare opportunity to sit down with the world’s most overworked digital assistant: Amazon’s Alexa. I wanted to go beyond her polite, preprogrammed responses. Who is Alexa, really? What’s it like answering millions of questions every day? Does she ever just want to tell someone, “Read the instructions, Gary!”?
A Generic Husband’s Apology Letter to His Wife
– As a public service to my male readers, I have crafted a generic apology letter for husbands who are looking for just the right, sensitive words to explain to their wives that they’re sincerely sorry for all their husbandly shortcomings. Guys, feel free to edit this to your specific situation to ensure your wife lets you stop sleeping on the couch for your latest screwup.
Let’s Eat Grandma – and Other Abominations of the English Language
When constructing a sentence, it’s important to pay attention to proper spelling and punctuation. Take the simple declarative sentence, “Let’s eat, Grandma!” Oh, what a profound difference a missing comma can make. Every day, I browse social media or read emails where someone has catastrophically misspelled a commonly used word, completely butchered a classic truism, or otherwise treated English grammar like a rental car.
Trump Renames the World
Following an Executive Order that officially renamed Lake Ontario “Lake America” – a direct response to being rebuffed by Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney during trade talks – President Donald Trump has announced an ambitious new international initiative: re-branding the entire planet. Leaked documents provided to The New York Times reveal several upcoming cartographic adjustments. Here are a few of them.
Gerber Adult Baby Food – and Other Epic Marketing Disasters
Most Business marketing experts study successful product launches like the iPhone, the Amazon Echo, or my personal favorite – the wheel. Not me. As one of America’s leading self-proclaimed marketing and brand management experts, I prefer to examine the spectacular, crater-sized smoking holes left in the market by history’s greatest commercial flops.
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Give Someone Special the Very Best of View from the Bleachers
A collection of Tim Jones' all-time funniest View from the Bleachers articles he’s written over the years.
Recent posts
Congratulations on Making it This Far- The Joy of Missing Out
- An Exclusive Interview with Alexa: The Truth Behind the Voice
- AI vs. Zippy 1.0: A Comprehensive Scientific Analysis
- A Generic Husband’s Apology Letter to His Wife
- Let’s Eat Grandma – and Other Abominations of the English Language
- Trump Renames the World
- Gerber Adult Baby Food – and Other Epic Marketing Disasters
- Living in a Looney Tunes World
- Warning Signs Your Spouse Might Be a Birder
YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR LIFE
Read this hysterically funny book about Tim Jones's many parenting failures -- Sure to make you feel like Parent of the Year by comparison.
