Every now and then I dip into the View from the Bleachers Reader Mail Bag to check out reader comments. I like to hear what my loyal following has to say about my recent posts. It may surprise you to know that my humor blog is (hardly ever) read by people all over the world – from Melbourne to Moscow to Mogadishu, and everywhere in between.
Whenever I wonder whether anybody is paying any attention to my posts, I need look no further than the blog’s comments section to discover that spammers from around the world are regularly checking out my web site. How flattering, I must say. And they always have something positive to say.
As a professional humorist and three-time Golden Globe nominee, I have found that coming up with original, entertaining topics to write about each week is a formidable challenge. But when I stop to read the highly personal reader feedback of spammers from places like Istanbul, I am reminded that this labor of love is well worth it. One week I had over 800 comments from an eclectic collection of web sites, most of which, I sheepishly admit, I had never heard of. At the risk of sounding immodest, the feedback from these spammers has been almost universally effusive. Many times, the comments are surprisingly coherent, if you can just decipher the mangled syntax.
Here is a random sampling of reader comments from devoted spammer followers. [Author’s note: All of the comments below appear exactly as they were submitted and have not been edited in any way.]
- In response to my recent post, I’ve been having an affair. Please don’t tell my wife, kopfhoerer-kabellos.shopping.com – Nayes133@techemail.com wrote, “Much appreciated for the information and share!”
- Commenting on my post from a couple months back entitled, My love letter to my Internet Help Desk, katzenfutter-nass.haustiere-shopping.com/tags/pas – Dushane1414@gmail.com wrote, and I quote, “heya, great blog page, and a very good understand! definitely one to my bookmarks.”
- Or how about this glowing praise about my controversial post about brand infringement lawsuits entitled, Little Caesars Pizza sues Ancient Rome for brand infringement, in which pumps.sneaker-blogs.de – Bolado629@gmail.com waxed eloquently, writing, “I would like to say thanks of you a lot for a work you have made in writing this posting. I am hope to the same most affective work by you later on also.” I could not have said it better myself, pumpsneakers.
- Perhaps one of the recent responses that touched my heart the most was this enthusiastic comment by someone I’m guessing lives in Thailand whose website goes by the name of thai-blog.net/2011/ – firstname.lastname@example.org. After apparently enjoying my post about Six strategies to take the worry out of saving for your kids’ college education, Classymassy lavished the following praise: “You have really interesting blog, keep up posting such informative posts!” Clearly, Classymassy must have kids getting ready for college too. I feel I kinda know her now.
There simply is not enough space here to share every glowing spammer comment, but since I am justifiably proud of the high praise, mind if I share just a few more?
- “There’s a terific amount of knolwegde in this artical!” – zojirushibreadmachine.com – email@example.com
- “Yeah that’s what I’m tlankig about baby–nice work!“ – availhosting.com – firstname.lastname@example.org
- “Fine know-how! I have been hunting for everything such as this for quite a while these days. With thanks!” – fussballschuhe.sneaker-blogs.de/ – email@example.com
I love hearing from my readers. I had no idea that Kolbyka Appliances in Gdansk, Poland, was such a fan of my humor blog. And I was taken aback to learn that Happy Feet Health Shoes in Johannesburg, South Africa found my blog and gushed “thank you for the most useful information” – even though my post that week was about the passing of Osama bin Laden and made no reference to shoes.
It is so gratifying to know that even though the people on my blog’s subscriber list rarely comment on my posts, there is a large and growing international community of spammers whose web bots seek out my blog so the spammers’ robo-email links programs can chime in week after week to thank me for another hilarious post. I can’t count the number of times I have read comments like “I did not know that” or “I found your post helpful”.
I honestly can’t recall the last time a spammer offered the slightest negative comment about any of my posts. What can I say? They obviously recognize quality humor writing when they see it. I am humbled to know that over the past six years, thousands of spammers have learned so many informative, useful lessons from visiting my blog. I had no idea my humor posts had such a profoundly positive educational impact on so many.
To all of you spammers who have taken the time to visit my web site and post your sincere comments of appreciation and support, I just want to offer back to all of you my own heartfelt reply: “Thank of all you to your helpful feedback. It is mine to have the pleasure of to inform you!”
And I’m talking to you, Latvia’s how-much-house-can-i-afford.org.
That’s the view from the bleachers. Perhaps I’m off base.
© Tim Jones, View from the Bleachers 2011