VIEW from the BLEACHERS

My personal search for signs of intelligent life in the universe and in my neighborhood

A humor blog

by Tim Jones, BA, JD, MBA, ESQ, FAQ, INC, LOL, WTF, UBU, IDK, ETC

Waiting for My Wife

Waiting for My Wife

A common complaint of many husbands is having to wait for their wives. Waiting as she picks out an outfit for the evening; waiting for her to finish putting on her makeup; waiting at the hospital while she takes forever to deliver their baby. I have no such complaints about my wife. No, I have to wait for her for an entirely different reason. And the wait can be endless.

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Don’t Become Pickleball’s Next Tragic Victim

Don’t Become Pickleball’s Next Tragic Victim

Pickleball may be sweeping the nation as our fastest growing sport. But make no mistake, it’s not just a game. It’s a death trap waiting to suck you into its treacherous evil clutches. If these statistics don’t terrify you and make you throw your paddle into a nearby volcano, then you’re living in denial – either that or you must not live near a volcano.

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An American Tourist’s Guide to Africa

An American Tourist’s Guide to Africa

As someone who has traveled all over the world, I know a thing or two about how to get around in foreign cultures. I recently returned from a three-week safari tour of southern Africa. Oh sure, there were incredible wild animals everywhere. But none of our wilderness lodges had ESPN, so I missed all of the baseball playoffs. Very disappointing.

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Seven Immutable Laws of Car Ownership

Seven Immutable Laws of Car Ownership

Owning a car is a lot like being in a long-term relationship with a temperamental, unpredictable partner. At first, it’s all smooth rides as you cruise down the highway with the music blasting like Jerry Maguire singing along to Tom Petty’s song Free Fallin.’ But then, you hit a few bumps—figuratively and literally. Here are eight immutable laws of car ownership. First time car buyers, you better buckle up. You’re in for a bumpy ride.

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Introducing Trump-Canceling Headphones: The Ultimate Escape

Introducing Trump-Canceling Headphones: The Ultimate Escape

All of this non-stop bombardment of Trump 24/7 is enough to make even the most stoic person start considering a permanent vacation to a remote island where Wi-Fi is just a dream and there’s no such thing as social media. But fear not, because VFTB Enterprises is announcing the solution to your Trump-fatigue: Trump-Canceling Headphones!

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A collection of Tim Jones’ all-time funniest View from the Bleachers articles he’s written over the years.

YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR LIFE

You're Grounded For Life book

Read this hysterically funny book about Tim Jones’s many parenting failures — Sure to make you feel like Parent of the Year by comparison.

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