VIEW from the BLEACHERS
A humor blog
by Tim Jones, BA, JD, MBA, ESQ, FAQ, INC, LOL, WTF, UBU, IDK, ETC
Warning Signs Your Spouse Might Be a Birder
Is your spouse at risk of turning into a birder? Look for these telltale signs: It may start innocently enough, when your husband points out a hawk circling overhead. Then he purchases a bird feeder. Then before you know it, he’s waking up at 4:15 AM on a Saturday, covered in camo netting, to sit in a swamp, hoping to catch a glimpse of a breeding pair of North American White-Crested Sapsuckers. By then it may be too late to save your marriage.
Say What? The Hearing-Impaired Game Show Contestant
Wilbur Deffinear is a retired construction worker with really bad hearing. Somehow he ended up on a game show and believe it or not, he did incredibly well.
BREAKING WEATHER ALERT: Seattle Braces for Extremely Mild, Pleasant July Weather
While the rest of the nation is basking in the gentle warmth of a nationwide “Heat Dome,” the greater Seattle area braces for punishingly mild, slightly cool weather, with sunny skies and zero humidity.
Why Most Cats Suck at Pickleball
I’m mildly obsessed with the sport of pickleball. Wanting to share my passion, I naturally turned to the only consistent companions I have who don’t complain about my backhand: my cats, Zippy, Buddy, and Monster. I am disappointed to report it did not go well. Let me explain why.
BREAKING HEALTH ALERT: Ice Cream Declared Superfood — Kale Classified as Biohazard
The year is 2037. In a stunning reversal of decades of dietary guidelines, the FDA announced today that foods like pizza, cheeseburgers, and double-fudge sundaes are not only not bad for you but may actually be “nutritional unicorns.” Read the shocking findings in this VFTB Exclusive.
COVID: Now Even More Contagious Than Your Aunt Linda’s Gossip – And Just As Unavoidable
Every month it seems there is a new COVID variant, more contagious than any preceding it. Read what you should do to help avoid getting it. Oh, who are we kidding? Of course, you’ll come down with it. – unless you move to Antarctica. Good luck finding a Starbucks there.
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Give Someone Special the Very Best of View from the Bleachers
A collection of Tim Jones' all-time funniest View from the Bleachers articles he’s written over the years.
Recent posts
An Exclusive Interview with Alexa: The Truth Behind the Voice
AI vs. Zippy 1.0: A Comprehensive Scientific Analysis
A Generic Husband’s Apology Letter to His Wife
Let’s Eat Grandma – and Other Abominations of the English Language
Trump Renames the World
Gerber Adult Baby Food – and Other Epic Marketing Disasters
Living in a Looney Tunes World
Warning Signs Your Spouse Might Be a Birder
Say What? The Hearing-Impaired Game Show Contestant
BREAKING WEATHER ALERT: Seattle Braces for Extremely Mild, Pleasant July Weather
YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR LIFE
Read this hysterically funny book about Tim Jones's many parenting failures -- Sure to make you feel like Parent of the Year by comparison.
