VIEW from the BLEACHERS
A humor blog
by Tim Jones, BA, JD, MBA, ESQ, FAQ, INC, LOL, WTF, UBU, IDK, ETC

Trump Announces His Official Precedential Liebrary
President Trump today revealed his long-awaited plans for his presidential library. It will officially be known as the Donald J. Trump Presidential Liebrary, Resort, Casino and Adult Video Store. The exact location has not yet been announced, but sources wishing not to be named indicate it may be adjacent to a Las Vegas Hooters or an adult video store in Queens. Read the full press release.

States Propose Bold Measures to Prevent Voter Fraud
Due to complaints by Republicans of massive voter fraud in the 2020 election, Republican state legislators in 43 states have introduced over 541 voter security pieces of legislation designed to prevent Trump from losing next time. Check out some of the bold measures being proposed to preserve our democracy and ensure that the RIGHT candidate will always win from now on.

The Challenge of Getting People to Follow Instructions
Recently I sent an email asking my 11 racquetball buddies to fill out a 30-second survey. I asked them to indicate when they’d prefer to play, choosing from six available times. That was apparently a much harder ask than I realized. I might as well have been asking them to provide the formula for the next COVID vaccine.

Announcing the Pandemic’s Most Annoying Person
In an award that had never previously been given, the CDC announced its winner of the not-so-coveted Pandemic’s Most Annoying Person. In reaching a unanimous decision, the agency explained that the vote wasn’t even close.

The Five-Day Accu-Weather Solar System Forecast
The five-day accu-weather Solar System forecast calls for sunny and seasonably hot weather – on the surface of the sun. Temps are forecast to be somewhat cooler as you head further away from the sun. Going to Neptune? Bring a winter coat. Learn what you need to know if your travel plans call for a trip to the nearby cosmos.

Undiscovered History: The Secret Jefferson Letters
In this VFTB Exclusive, I reveal a collection of never-before-seen correspondence between Thomas Jefferson and his rarely mentioned youngest son, Bradley. The letters reveal a deeply personal side heretofore never known about our third president and author of the Declaration of Independence.