VIEW from the BLEACHERS

My personal search for signs of intelligent life in the universe and in my neighborhood

A humor blog

by Tim Jones, BA, JD, MBA, ESQ, FAQ, INC, LOL, WTF, UBU, IDK, ETC

Sleepless in Seattle

by TEJ | Jul 25, 2020 | Other Attempts at Humor | 3 Comments

Lately, I’ve had difficulty sleeping at night. I either have a bad case of Restless Leg Syndrome or an epic case of the Harlem Shakes. Friends have offered countless suggestions for how to get a restful night’s sleep. None of them have worked so far. But a buddy swears he knows a surefire cure: Drink a fifth of Tequila while watching the film Weekend at Bernie’s in the nude.

Other Masks We Need

by TEJ | Jul 18, 2020 | In the News Humor | 5 Comments

The successful use of face masks against the Covid pandemic has inspired scientists and public health professionals to look at further applications of mask technology to prevent the spread of other dangerous human expulsions across a wide array of personal interactions. In this issue, we look at just a few of the exciting new mask applications currently under development.

Announcing a New, Politically Correct Name for the Washington Redskins

by TEJ | Jul 7, 2020 | In the News Humor | 11 Comments

Recently, the controversy over the name of the Washington Redskins NFL team has gained momentum. Many people feel the term “Redskins” paints a racially demeaning stereotype of Native Americans. So, I have come up with a way to solve this problem once and for all. No need to thank me.

Warning Signs You May Be Experiencing Kronic Incessant Disorder Syndrome (K.I.D.S.)

by TEJ | Jul 5, 2020 | Lifestyles humor, Parenting and Family humor | 3 Comments

In recent decades there has been an explosion in the reported cases of KIDS. There are more people grappling with the symptoms of this chronic condition now than at any previous time in human history. Learn whether you may have KIDS and what you can do about it.

My Wife Wants Me Recalled

by TEJ | Jun 28, 2020 | Parenting and Family humor | 9 Comments

Recently, my wife decided that my condition had deteriorated so much that she wanted to trade me in. She was unhappy with my performance and my parts were breaking down. So she inquired about getting me recalled by the manufacturer. This is the letter she got back.

I Think I Need a Haircut

by TEJ | Jun 21, 2020 | Fun and Leisure Humor, In the News Humor | 7 Comments

In my entire life, I never really have had what you would call “long hair.” That is until now. Thanks to the Coronavirus pandemic and the rigid shelter in place mandate, it’s been five months since my last haircut. I’m starting to look like a backup drummer for Metallica – or at the very least one of their roadies.