VIEW from the BLEACHERS

My personal search for signs of intelligent life in the universe and in my neighborhood

A humor blog

by Tim Jones, BA, JD, MBA, ESQ, FAQ, INC, LOL, WTF, UBU, IDK, ETC

How to Offend People Without Really Trying

by TEJ | Feb 11, 2022 | Parenting and Family humor | 7 Comments

It has been pointed out to me that I apparently have a special talent – the ability to offend other people without having a clue as to exactly what I did wrong. I appear to be particularly adept at offending, annoying or otherwise emotionally upsetting my siblings. As a result of this special gift, I have also become extremely experienced at apologizing.

My Parents Never Told Me I was Chinese

by TEJ | Jan 27, 2022 | Computers and Technology humor | 4 Comments

My parents were good people. They tried to raise me to become a decent, caring person. But they lied to me – for years. They never told me I was Chinese. It took a call to Apple ID tech support to discover the truth about my genetic history.

Did You Find a Pair of Glasses I Lost?

by TEJ | Jan 16, 2022 | Fun and Leisure Humor | 8 Comments

Recently I was in the grocery store and I suddenly realized my glasses were missing. Had they fallen out of my pocket? Did I leave them at home? I finally solved the mystery. But in finding my glasses, it appears that I was also losing my mind.

Judge Tim’s Court is Now in Session

by TEJ | Dec 29, 2021 | All Blog Posts, In the News Humor, Pop culture humor | 6 Comments

I recently learned that Judge Judy is stepping down from The People’s Court after 25 years on the bench. I quickly realized that nobody was better suited to take her place than I – just so long as I don’t have to wear high heels. That would be a deal breaker.

Surviving Christmas Dinner with Relatives

by TEJ | Dec 4, 2021 | Holiday humor | 5 Comments

Christmas is a time of great joy and togetherness. Sometimes, a little too much togetherness. Especially when your annoying conspiracy-theory-loving Uncle joins the dinner – with his new girlfriend – even when they weren’t invited. Still, I’m confident everything will go just fine. Well, at least hopeful. Good luck.

My Lame Utah National Parks Vacation

by TEJ | Nov 25, 2021 | Fun and Leisure Humor | 3 Comments

Recently, my wife and I took a two-week vacation to see all five of Utah’s national parks. The experience was, well, disappointing. I was utterly unimpressed. Utahns like to refer to them as “The Mighty Five.” I prefer to call them “The Forget ‘em Five.”