It’s January – a new year and another chance to wipe the slate clean and press the RESET button on all those failed commitments from the previous year. Every year, I revisit my New Year’s Resolutions from the previous year, not so much to analyze how many of them I kept, because of course I kept NONE of them. Rather, I look back to chronicle how many weeks it took before I had completely bailed out on my very last resolution. Usually that date is around January 11th. I remember 1995. That was a great year. I made it all the way through February before completely giving up on all my resolutions, goals and ambitions. (I might add, that was a leap year, so give me credit for an extra day!)
I’ve noticed an unsettling trend regarding my New Year’s Resolutions over the years. Over time, the goals have, well, sort of hit a plateau… then slowly slipped off the edge of that plateau…. into the deep, dark, cavernous ravine of best intentions gone awry. Take a look:
Each week in this humor blog, I try to poke fun at some current event, a lame trend, or, when I can’t think of anything else, Glenn Beck. But I wanted to speak to you seriously this week, from the heart, about what I am for and what I am against. For too long I have straddled the fence on controversial issues in my life. When I was young, I could not decide whether I liked chocolate ice cream or vanilla better. Who to root for in football, Army or Navy?
I continue to struggle to this day with taking a stand: Paper or plastic? 1% or fat free? Warm or cold rinse cycle? Letterman or Leno? To this day I still have never registered Democrat or Republican. I have always been that person who can see everybody else’s point of view and does not want to take a stand for fear of offending anybody. (I hope that’s not offensive to say.)
Last week I wrote about one aspect of the real meaning of the holiday season – the important annual tradition of sending out hundreds of unsigned holiday greeting cards with photos of your kids to hundreds of people you don’t really care if you ever see again along with a four-page newsletter detailing how your past year was far superior to the recipient’s.
This week’s heartfelt post is about another integral part of a truly spiritually fulfilling holiday season: Holiday decorations. This is the fun part of the holidays – starting with your annual climb into the creepy dust-covered cave known as your attic, in search of those Christmas or (insert your preferred alternative holiday here __________________) ornaments.
Let me be the first to wish you Happy Valentine’s Day. Why so early, you ask? When it comes to holiday preparations, you need to be thinking months ahead. This year, the Christmas season officially started on September 27th. That’s the day my local Costco put on display several lovely 8’ plastic Snowman snow globes. They always add such a festive touch to anyone’s front lawn, especially when deflated.
